This is un-𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐-acceptable. The vending machine, ｂｒｏｋｅ, and robbed me of my 𝓉𝓌𝑜 𝓆𝓊𝒶𝓇𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈 and now I can’t work properly without my 𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓸 𝓛𝓪𝔂𝓼™. I wanna (𝔰𝔦𝔯) speak to your manager (𝖘𝖎𝖗) 𝙞𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮!
🅂🄸🅁, hello? Does somebody need a new prescription for their 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬? I’m a security guard, not a vending machine guy.
Oh, 𝕛𝕖𝕖𝕫𝕖! I’m so-ɦօ sorry, if you’re not the 𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓰𝓾𝔂, then, 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 🄵🅄🄲🄺 𝔦𝔰? Because all I see is you ⓟⓐⓝⓢⓨ-⃝ⓐⓢⓢ 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭-𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 loafin’ around everywhere, like, are any of you NPCs programmed with 𝕒𝕟𝕪 bit of responsibility? 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭?
What’s a 𝚖𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚊ꜰᴜᴄᴋᴀ 𝔞𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝖌𝖔𝖙𝖙𝖆 𝖉𝖔 to ⒼⒺⓉ ⓈⓄⓂⒺ 🅵🆁🅸🆃🅾-
Lying to children is fun when they know you are being ridiculous. When you hold up a carrot like “guys look at this huge Cheeto” and they all scream “NOOOOOOOOO that’s a CARE-OTT!”
“What? No, it’s my giant Cheeto.”
“NOOOOOOO!”
When I was a camp counselor a fellow counselor claimed that any silly camp song we sang was “his next hit single” and we should all follow him on SoundCloud and he stuck by this daily and it never ceased to amuse both the adults and the children.
When children are small and learning to count and you say the numbers out of order? Peak comedy.
“How many toys are there? Let’s see… oneeee, twooo, six!”
“NO! One two three!”
“What? Are you sure? Let me try again. One, two… six?”
“Noooooo!”
Once reduced a toddler into a fit of giggles by singing “A B C D E F Q.”
on Halloween at the store i work at there was a little boy in a Batman costume, and as I was helping his mom I kept addressing him as Mr. Superman and Mr. Aquaman & he kept correcting me, “noooo, BATMAN” until they were leaving and he very seriously told me, “actully, I’m Ryan”
I learned what sun poisoning is recently and now I keep getting scared when I see suspiciously pink white people out and about during the day. Like dude get back inside you’re in danger
“The average US president has been charged with 1.54 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 71, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted
Felonies Donld is now up to 79 felonies, for a statistical average of 1.71 felonies per president
I sat with a crying second grader today. (The age range is outside my wheelhouse but I was the most convenient adult.) He was crying, the other adults said, because his brother took a phone he was playing on. “Phone addicted,” everybody said. “If he would get up and play games with the other kids he wouldn’t be crying.”
He told me everyone lets his brother take things from him because his brother is younger, and doesn’t know better. He told me he doesn’t want to play because he’s tired, he has too many extracurriculars this summer and can’t get good sleep because “everyone in my camper is so loud when I’m trying to sleep.” He’s exhausted and only eight. His mom’s an acquaintance and told me she and the kid’s father are going through a separation — mom and four kids left the house to stay in a camper.
But people will seriously not listen to kids crying over seemingly minor things because on the surface it looks like a tantrum. If kids are given the space to articulate themselves they often will.
I’ve found that if a child is capable of having a conversation (that is, old enough to speak and express themselves, not injured or upset so badly that they literally cannot stop crying, and not behaving violently), then 90% of the time their reason for being upset is legitimate, or at least understandable.
Please remember that this also applies to teenagers and preteens, they might be acting like a knowitall who doesn’t give a shit, or a first class jerk, but chances are fair they feel like shit for one reason or another and adults just chalk it up to teenage angst instead
Why the fuck did Amazon just send me and this one other guy in our building a free sample package of Coke Zero
Why
Hey guysssss I’d like to take a moment to talk to you all about this new product. Coke
There’s a real explanation! This is actually a SCAM called ‘Brushing’ to raise their ratings on amazon artificially. They create a fake account with a random real address, purchase the item themselves and mail it off and as it goes to a real address, random people get it.
Then they leave themselves a nice five-star review with the fake account. This sounds like a victimless crime, but this means your information is compromised, they have your account info, and possibly your credit card information, and can lead to people purchasing garbage because they believe the multiple verified five star reviews.
If you receive a random package you did not order, you should report it immediately to both Amazon and the Federal Trade Commission, change your password, and monitor your cards. You’re free to keep the package though.
It’s that time of year again.
Monitor your credit and debit cards regularly. Be wary of pop up sites offering deals too good to be true. If you get a package you didn’t order, investigate, be cautious, but US law also allows you to keep anything sent to you without obligation (you know, to prevent scams where people send you something you didn’t ask for and then sue you for an inflated purchase price).
ALT
